"he's 9 months"

12 November 2008..

my precious reached his 9th months. Time moved so swiftly..I could still remember the pain.. the 9 months carrying him in my womb...huhuhu.. can't wait to see him grow bigger...

 

^^**^^DEL EID GATHERING PICS**^^**

hmm.. i malas la nak edit post pasal eid tu.. so i just upload the pics in a new one. here are some of the pics. a successful event...

wanita-wanita cantik!!

nasi beriani yang sedap.. so tasty!!tp xle makan byk coz kena layan guests.. huhuhu

sume macam bes je pakat angakat tangan nak jawab soalan.. kalau le dlm kelas time bljr BEL mcm ni kan bes..

the finance people.. these people processed our cash to materialize the gathering efficiently!

hoho ajla bersungguh benar amek food!

ok people.. this is the person who won best dress award! hmm i masih menyelidik tahap kebestan dress dia..?? muahahahah sorry ye Intan...

tokey gelang (kiri) bersama customer yang setia..bersama gelang yang di beli daripada aku.


jeng.. jeng.. jeng..ketibaan tetamu kehormat

sedapnyer encik elwi shafiz makan!

3 blues with a brownie.. ;)

my dearest students.. muahahah i pun nampak macam student jgk kan.. could u differentiate?

dah sape plak laa yang baju biru tuh...? kite de invite dia ke wei..?

Ke Mana Lenaku?

Malam makin larut
Mata masih belum mahu lena
Puas kupujuk
Masih juga belum tertutup.

Tanya pada hati
Mungkin ada gundah yang belum terurai
Mungkin juga ada secubit rasa yang tak dapat ditafsir

Tiada jawapan dari hati…
Ku tanya pula pada fikir
Apakah ada perkara yang belum sempurna
Atau masalah yang menjenguk minda.

Fikir juga seperti sang hati..
Sepi…bisu..
Juga tiada jawab.

Lama menung ku
Agaknya mengapa lena masih jauh
Tidak muncul meski ulitku tidak putus..

Tiba-tiba ada sesuatu mengetuk benak
Menyampai pesan
Memberi jawab tentang rajuk sang mata…

Kafein!

*nurul 9 nov 1.23 a.m.*

Sering Aku Lupa

Sering aku lupa bersyukur
Untuk kurnia yang tak nilainya tak terukur
Untuk bahagia yang saban waktu mengekori

Dua mutiara berharga
Melengkapi hidup hamba-Mu yang tiap saat terlena
Kadang terlupa dua mutiara itu satu anugerah
Yang mesti disyukuri
Perlu dihargai.

Suamiku,
Tak terbanding cinta yang sarat di hati
Tak terukir rindu memberat di jiwa
Cuma sering aku lupa
Suamiku milik Azali yang dipinjamkan sekejap cuma
Bagi melengkapi tubuh kerdil yang separuh ini
Agar tidak goyah menempuh badai bermain dengan ombak kehidupan
Agar tenang mengharung gelora ynag menduga keimanan.

Terima kasih Tuhan..
Kerana meminjamkanku seorang suami
Yang mulia hatinya
Yang melentur rusukku meski tidak selurus Sirat-Mu.

Anakku,
Tiap kali mata melirik padamu,
Terpancar cinta yang saban hari saban menyala
Saban hari saban membara.
Cuma aku seringkali leka
Lupa bahawa Tuhan bisa mengambilmu dariku
Meski segunung kasih yang kugalas di bahu
Walau sebeban sayang yang kupikul.

Terima kasih Tuhan..
Kerana meminjamkanku seorang permata
Pelengkap hidup aku bersama sang suami.

Maaf Tuhan..
Kerana aku seringkali lupa bersyukur..




nurul hamidah
6 November 08
1.32 a.m.

Puisi Zurinah Hassan

Masihkah Kau Bermain Seruling & Aku Sepatutnya Malu Menulis Surat Cinta Kepadamu karya Zurina Hassan pernah jugak aku baca di majlis bacaan puisi. sayang aku tak pandai menulis... cuma mampu berkongsi rasa melalui deklamasi.. interpretasi mungkin berbeza tapi sebaik-baiknya aku cuba untuk menghampiri jiwa pemuisi, menjadikan luahan si penulis terzahir pada pendengaran....

Aku Sepatutnya Malu Menulis Surat Cinta Kepadamu
nukilan Zurinah Hassan


Aku sepatutnya malu menulis surat cinta pada
kerana ia tidak mungkin jadi sempurna
dan setelah terlalu banyak mengingkari-Mu
Kau mungkin tidak sedia menerima.

Mengapa harus aku tiba pada-Mu
bagai seekor kupu-kupu yang meninggalkan rimbanya
keragaman rahsia yang mentaati kata-kata
"tidak kuberi ilmu
melainkan sedikit sahaja"
aku jadi marah pada ketetapan itu
dan meluru menuju lampu
tapi hanya terhumban pada kaca
lalu jatuh ke kaki-Mu
apakah kau sedia memaafkan
carik-carik di kepakku?

Atau apakah kau sengaja
memilih pertemuan begini
untuk aku jadi lebih terpegun
pada kesempurnaan jari-jari-Mu?

Mengapa aku harus tiba pada-Mu
bagai sungai yang menemui muaranya
dalam murung rasa tua
setelah terlalu banyak meronta
mahu melepaskan diri dari sekatan tebingnya
tapi hanya menambahkan bebanan
sehingga tiba ada keluasan lautmu
apakah Kau sedia memaafkan
kekeruhan di tubuhku?

Atau apakah kau sengaja
memilih pertemuan begini
untuk aku jadi lebih terpesona
pada kejernihan matamu?

Kau terlalu banyak menyimpan keindahan
mengapakah aku tidak melihatnya dahulu
atau apakah Kau sengaja menyembunyikan
supaya aku jadi lebih kasih pada-Mu?

Mingguan Malaysia
1976


Masihkah Kau Bermain Seruling


masihkah kau bermain seruling
walau waktu telaah terlewat untuk kita bercinta
aku semakin terasa bersalah
melayani godaan irama
lagu yang tersimpan pada lorong halus buluh
dikeluarkan oleh nafas seniman
diukir oleh bibir
diatur oleh jari
dilayangkan oleh alun angin
menolak ke dasar rasa.

masihkah kau bermain seruling
ketika kampung semakin sunyi
sawah telah uzur
waktu jadi terlalu mahal
untuk memerhatikan hujan turun
merenung jalur senja
mengutip manik embun
menghidu harum bunga.

masihkah kau bermain seruling
ketika aku terasa mata bersalah
untuk melayani rasa rindu padamu
di kota yang semakin kusut dan tenat
adik-adikku menganggur dan sakit jiwa
bangsaku dipecahkan oleh politik
saudara diserang bom-bom ganas
dunia sudah terlalu tua dan parah.

Di sinilah berakhirnya percintaa kita
kerana zaman sedang menuntut para seniman
hidup di luar dirinya.

Shah Alam, 1987



harapan... alangkah baiknya jika aku juga dikurniakan kebolehan memindah rasa hati melalui pena.... terlalu banyak yang bakal diperkatakan... (hmmm.. manusia x akan pernah puas dengan kelebihan yang dimiliki...)

I WAnt the ReCitAL........

Reading and reciting poetry are among the things that I miss so much. i used to read and recite poems since i was a kid. i have a collection of poetry that i would choose to recite at any occasion i was invited to perform. I have some Rahman Shaari's in my list. DI HALAM KEMBANG SEPATU INI SELAMANYA SEJAHTERALAH WARGA and SAJAK ANAK are among my favorite. Sajak Anak is a very interesting poem portraying a mom's love towards her disobedient daughter. i would definitely recite that poem whenever the audience requested me to. hahah macam ade fan la pulak kan... however Sajak Anak is very interesting.. there are dialogues which means i need to differentiate the tones ( which i loooooooooove a lot) hmmm.. cakap byk x guna jgk kan.. let's read the poem from Rahman Shaari..

~@@@~Sajak Anak~@@@~

aku tiba sebelum senja
pintu rumah tertutup
anak kucing
di anak tangga.
kumatikan bising motosikal
tanpa panggil
pintu rumah terbuka

mak sum seperti dulu
tangan kiri di kepala, menggaru
tangan kanan memegang pintu

aku bertanya tentang milah,
jawabnya tiada di rumah
'milah keluar dengan lakinya'
aku heran:
'bila menikah?'
'menikah belum', jawab mak sum

tangan mak sum luka-luka
dan pakaian tidak terjaga
bila kuusik: 'mak sum masih muda',
dia menari dan ketawa.
tapi dia cepat mengubah suasana
bila kusebut nama suaminya
bertukarlah wajah dan suara itu
seperti matinya pak hamid
baru pagi tadi.

kemudian kutanya tentang tangannya
kenapa luka?

dia menangis lagi
dan bertanya kembali
apakah benar tuhan gagah?
kukatakan padanya tuhan perkasa
dan dia lagi bertanya
kenapa tuhan tiadak memulas
kepala milah?

'lukaku ini dipukul milah
dia anak yang tidak senang
melihat aku riang
menyanyi dan menari di rumah orang'.

aku faham lantas berkata
'tuhan adil,
itu anak durhaka,
mak sum jangan bimbang
tempat milah nanti di kawah
di bawahnya api ganas
milah akan menjerit kepanasan
memanggil emak
memanggil tuhan'.

mak sum kembali riang
'tak kan kutolong, tak kan kutolong',
bila aku mau pulang,
hidupkan enjin motor burukku
mak sum memanggil lagi
menangis lagi.

'Katakan pada tuhan,'jeritnya'Jangan rebus si milah,
dia anak aku'.

**********************************************************

Aku selalu menitiskan air mata tiap kali sajak ini ku baca.. dan akan terus air mata ini tumpah....

My FaVOUritE TonGUE TwiSTeR

A tree toad loved a she-toad
Who lived up in a tree.
He was a two-toed tree toad
But a three-toed toad was she.
The two-toed tree toad tried to win
The three-toed she-toad's heart,
For the two-toed tree toad loved the ground
That the three-toed tree toad trod.
But the two-toed tree toad tried in vain.
He couldn't please her whim.
From her tree toad bower
With her three-toed power
The she-toad vetoed him.

*****************************************
You've no need to light a night-light
On a light night like tonight,
For a night-light's light's a slight light,
And tonight's a night that's light.
When a night's light, like tonight's light,
It is really not quite right
To light night-lights with their slight lights
On a light night like tonight.

********************************************

Don't pamper damp scamp tramps that camp under ramp lamps.

*******************************************

When a twister a-twisting will twist him a twist,
For the twisting of his twist, he three twines doth intwist;
But if one of the twines of the twist do untwist,
The twine that untwisteth untwisteth the twist.
Untwirling the twine that untwisteth between,
He twirls, with his twister, the two in a twine;
Then twice having twisted the twines of the twine,
He twitcheth the twice he had twined in twain.
The twain that in twining before in the twine,
As twines were intwisted he now doth untwine;
Twist the twain inter-twisting a twine more between,
He, twirling his twister, makes a twist of the twine.

*****************************************************

Ned Nott was shot
and Sam Shott was not.
So it is better to be Shott
than Nott.
Some say Nott
was not shot.
But Shott says
he shot Nott.
Either the shot Shott shot at Nott
was not shot,
or
Nott was shot.
If the shot Shott shot shot Nott,
Nott was shot.
But if the shot Shott shot shot Shott,
then Shott was shot,
not Nott.
However,
the shot Shott shot shot not Shott --
but Nott.
________________________________________
Six slippery snails, slid slowly seaward

**invigilating**

Friday October 31st 08, I jaga exam la hari ni. The 2 hours paper will start at 2.45. I will be invigilating with 2 unknown people. Hmm I used to invigilate with Hardiana 2 semesters back but after the exam, we tend not to know each other. Huhuhu penat je I senyum kat dia tp dia bleh buat derk je as if x penah jumpa I sebelum ni. Tu yang aku wonder sesangat.. people keep saying that I am arrogant, muka belagak giler.. huhuhu… padahal dorang tu ha yang buat sombong.. tp ape I nak heran. I don’t give a damn to them as long as they do not interfere in my affairs.
Pagi yang bosan.. as usual pegi beli breakfast kat Cik Yah dengan Byn sambil bejalan-jalan melihat alam yang tenang pepagi hari. Hari ni x beli air coz I don’t want to meet the guy at Dkop. Huhuhu kang byk plak dok interview so mulai today I bring my own drink. Hikhik… kalo x sempat bawak pon kat department kana de water dispenser. Siap HOT & COLD lagi. Nescafe ade, Oat ade, Tea ade.. sume ade, buat je la kalau rajin. Time memula tu rajin jugak tapi dh lelama mcm malas je.. beli lagi senang. But since the existence of this abang at the shop I mcm mls je nak gi. Muahahahaha perasan kena ngorat la plak…
Balik beli breakfast ade reporter reported the latest accident happened in kolej. Huh eksiden saje semenjak dua menjak ni. Tapi I tak heran sangat bila I tau orang yang eksiden tu Puan AH. Tengok dia drive pun tau.. dah la penah langgar I.. buta ke hape dia tu.. elok je I buka pintu kereta she passed by. Siap babai babai lagi kat I. I pun babai la jugak sekali she bumped on me!! Nasik baik laa sikit je, kereta slow time tu. Huhuhu tapi tekejut la jugak. Athirah menjerit tengok aku kena langgar but puan AH bleh buat selamber senyum2 and lambai2 kat I yang telah pon dia langgar.. huhuhu.. tu yang when the reporter bagitau dia eksiden I macam x heran sangat.. ntah2 kereta I yang kemek tu dia yang langgar.. ye laa pagi elok2 je park bila nak balik tengok dah kemek. Berdasarkan pemerhatian isteri pomen terkemuka,c orak pelanggaran tu dengan gerak perlahan, most probably time si pelanggar tu nak reverse kereta dia untuk keluar parking, dia telah tidak dapat budget ruang so kena la kereta I yang cumel tu. Hahahaha.. I agak setuju dengan pendapat tu berdasarkan beberapa sebab. First look at how she bumped on me, second, she used to hit a Rexton, bergeser jugak means gerak perlahan ah tu. Thirdly, she bashed on a Storm depan Soon Hin sebab kunun2 x muat nak lau padahal kereta lain lepas elok je.. so in conclusion….. LU PIKIRLAA SENDIRI!!!
2.45 p.m. exam mula. I gi exam unit at almost 2 p.m. tengkok bilik exam x buka lagi.huh penat je gi awal2. Ros & Kak Nada de dok nunggu kat bilik meeting. Dorang dah penat ketuk and bagi salam but no one opened the door. Few minutes passed, barula pintu dibuka. Rupa-rupanya si Hana Suzana membuta kat dalam tu. Yang besnye.. AJK pon xde lagi, ketua pengawas yang supposedly jaga dengan I pun xde lg jugak. Kul bape baru dorang datang..hoh ingat punctual coz ketua pengawas & isterinya kelihatan amatlah skema..muahaha…
Kul 5 I dah balik DEL. Mujur student yang exam x ramai so cpt la sket proses mengira skrip & meng`seal’answer script tu. Lepak-lepak jap sebelum berkemas untk pulang ke rumah menemui suami dan anakanda. 5.30 sharp I dah tercongok depan punch card..huh kena beratur la pulak… awal lak sampai rumah hari ni..besnya kalau tetiap hari sampai awal…..HO SAMPAI AWAL PON Saturday morning I need to go to College. Paper I at 9 a.m. kena laaa gi menyiasat sket.. hohoho…

PANAS LA....

The weather is very scorching lately. Panas giler.. the air cond in DEL works very effectively.. kalau le minimum temperature air cond tu -10 kompem I on -10. Malas nk turun tetengahari ni.. huhuhu even to 7 eleven pon I have to think several times. Tapi kang if I don’t go anywhere the boredom will haunt me. So nak x nak I have to turun berjalan2 even though the weather burns me out.hahah rasa macam vampire plak bleh burn sebab kena sunlight.
Because of the weather jugaklaa I had to take my other half to clinic for an anti-histamine injection. He is allergic to dust and since the weather is hot and dry, the volume of dust is higher… wah pepandai je I buat conclusion sendiri. But wrapping up from what the doctor said lebih kurang gitu laa.. cian abe habis gegatal and the skin was as red as tomato.. eh tomato red ek? Hmm ok la tu… the problem is, it has been 3 days tp the allergic still x hilang2 lagi. We went to the clinic again but this time the doc could not inject the second dose because it would be dangerous. She just gave him cream to reduce the redness and itchiness. Huhuhu allergic to dust? I risau plak.. ye aa.. umah I ni byk dust sgt ke sampai 3 hari x ilang2 gegatal abet u.. I felt so guilty because I did not sweep the floor for quite some times. Sebab tu kut.. tp yesterday I dah nyapu the whole house but the condition remains the same.. hmm kompem bukan sbb I x nyapu kat umah..
Luckily Ahmad Haziq Baihaqi is not affected from the fiery weather. Kalau dulu time dia kecik2..(heh mcm le skg ni dh besar) he was a thin-skinned infant. Asal panas je cry.. asal panas sket je cry.tdo pon pakai diaper jer. Huhuhu bahaya betul untuk kesihatan lung dia.. tp tu laaa nak wat cane.. each time I put him on pyjama he absolutely could not sleep. He would cry until I took of his pj. Maybe because he is growing bigger so dh ok dh, dh adjust with the surrounding. Dah jarang sgt bejaga malam which means I boleh tido dgn aman dan gembira unlike when he was in his early days seeing the world. He used to setback my sleeping hour. He would sleep in the afternoon and woke up at 9 p.m. and I had to fed him for hours before he got back to sleep. Sometimes he would take 4 hours to be breastfed. Huhuhu sakit pinggang Ma Haziq ooiiiiiiiii….. sekarang tidak lagi.. hehehehehe anak soleh tu.. he knows that his Ma needs to have enough sleep because Ma have to go to work the next day..
Hmmm… however I hope the weather will be better shortly. Sebelum muka I ni hangus dibakar matahari dan sebelum tekak I sakit lagi for consuming toooooo much cold drink…. Huhuhu semoga permintaan I dimakbulkan.. Amin…

DEL EID GATHERING

It was Friday October 24, 2008…. The last day of lecture for this semester. Everybody was taking a break after suffering from headache and heartache finalizing students carry mark. It was the most suitable moment to have our Eid Gathering eventhough Eid tinggal lagi bape hari je nak abis.. but who cares.. as long as we are in the month of Syawal, Eid should still be celebrated. The DEL Eid Gathering took place on that day at 2.30 p.m. kat mana lagi kalo bukan Students Centre at our beloved Kolej Unikop ni kan..
The caterer reached here at 12 noon. The hall was still messy, chairs and tables were not properly arranged yet.. huhuhu.. me dah temper dh time tu.. muahahah dh lama x temper ni.. me and Byn went to Giant Batu Caves to get some tidbits for the jamuan. Sian Byn.. she had to listen to me membebelall the way to Giant.. sorry Byn, I was not mad at you. Nak marah sape ye?? Ade laa tu.. I’ll write about it soon…
2.30 p.m. all DEL lecturers were in the hall with their baju raya. Ye laaa we organized the BEST DRESS AWARD for both lecturers and students. Students pun melawa bukan main lagi laa… cantik2 baju dorang hari tu. We had appointed some spies to check on the dresses. Talking about BEST DRESS AWARD ni I mmg x puas hati laa.. cane yang kategori lady lecturer tu I x menang? Huhuhu penat la pakai baju raya ade beads lagi.. org2 finance pon kata baju I lawa.. huh INTAN.. I mmg x puas hati dgn u tau! Huhu INTAN u dah la x pakai baju raya. Nampaknye next year I tepaksa la tempah baju raya yang beads and labuci penuh from head to toe. Xpe INTAN.. tahun ni u menang.. tahun depan belum tentu lagi tau..
Me as the glamorous EMCEE on that day stuttered at the very beginning. Dah lama la wei pencen…but once started, I could not let the microphone go. My stage craze syndrome appeared once more. I asked for opinion from some lecturers and students about the food. They were all satisfied with the food. The nasi beriyani and ayam masak merah tasted soooooooooo good…. Thanks to our caterer, Mr Bambang from Selayang. The karaoke session however turned out to a disaster.. Nape plak la disaster?? Ye laa coz I was not able to sing for some reasons.. first of course because of my throat. I got cold for nearly a month, my voice suddenly turned to be husky and awful. Second, huhuhuhu there were 2 mic-crazy girl from DEL yang nyanyi x henti2 ntah bape aku sampai aku ngantuk nk terlena sesambil dgr dorg nyanyi.. muahahahhaha.. sapa laaaa dorg tu yer…. Adik2 merangkap anak2 ade jgk dtg penat suh nyanyi dorg xnak.. huh malas nak layan!!
6 p.m. everything was over.. we paid the caterer pastu kemas2 n balik.. food byk lebih so we tapau all the food and the cakes we gave to surau . Huhuhu elok azan maghrib aku sampai umah. Tp mmg puas hati laa with the event. Nasib baik the next day Saturday so aku bleh tido sepuas2nya.. hikhik…

BEL 120

Months passed swiftly. The semester is approaching is end. The students are facing their final exam till middle of next month. I came to work with a blank thought of what should be done throughout the exam period and loads of plans to be carried out during semester break which would be for nearly two months. Hahahaha… cuti pon problem jgk nih…

One semester taught me a lot of things. New fresh learners to be edified.hehehe… I got all the fresh youngsters. The part 1 students.. I taught BEL 120, the Consolidating Language Skills. 4 classes for the beginning, BM1A, BM1B, OM1D and the CS1. Just about 80 people. Just before the mid sem break I got another class to add on the four which made the total students of mine this sem 118. The OM1C is actually under a colleague’s surveillance. But she went missing weeks before she leave for maternity. Everybody was anguished with her absent. No one could find her, the students came to DEL almost everyday with enquiries about their class. Since the mid sem assessment would take place instantaneously after mid sem break, the CC decided to distribute her workload to other lecturers. Because I taught BEL 120, so the 120 class came to me.

The smallest number of students that I had was 7 people from the CS1. Hayati, Fatin, Liyana, Husna and Husni with the two gents Arif and Hafiz. Managing a small class was easier thought than done. The response was totally different from teaching a large class. Nevertheless the CS class was fun and the lesson normally ended earlier..hikhikhik…

The BM1A students were very playful especially the young men in the front line. Being 18 was the time when you have everything to be done frivolously. Perhaps because of they are switching from teenagers to adolescents. I would never forget (or won’t forget for at least for another 2 following semesters) the silent Syeds,(there were 2 Syeds in this class) good mummy’s boy Jai, Asyraf the good speaker, Hazim, Hizazi, my favorite Ainuddin (I don’t favor him much now.. hehehehehe he only did well in his speaking test), Zainal Haziq who got the highest in grammar test, Izzat the good boy, Zahin and Dzul the two best friends who always late to my class, Kamal and Shafiz who were always later than Zahin & Dzul. The girls were so nice and eager to learn. Amiira would usually make faces when the boys spew out their words louder than me, Hazirah, Shuhada and Intan the good and hardworking girls, Hidayah whom I believe the quietest girl in the class, Akmal and Fatin who were always together, while Nadia would always sit next to Atikah. Not to forget Misz who has a lot of things in her mind that I need to clarify, her side kick Munirah, the modest Nita, Ain, Aisyah and Hanis who would always take the last row in the class, (but I did not see Hanis and Aisyah for quite sometimes till the last class), Izzati the nice girl who just met with an accident and Maisyarah the shy lass who always smile when being appointed to answer questions.
This class was full of hilarity and most of the time I could not control the condition. The easiest way to make them silent was by calling one of them to replace me teaching in the front!!

Things were different with BM1B even though they were also Business Management students. Crossing the threshold of this class was the moment I have been waiting for each week. 32 students in a group was a huge class for me. One of them left the college less than a month of the lesson. I heard from the friends that he got an offer from somewhere else. To name all those 32 mischievous kids from BM1B did not give me any complexity. I could remember all of their names because it so happen to be my favorite class. At the very beginning of the semester I had a different reflection upon this group. They seemed to be very hard to handle. I felt uneasy when I first attended the class. However when I started to know the youths in that class, the uneasy feeling was automatically amended to favoring them. To begin with, Hadi and Nizam who were always picking up my laptop and projector from the office to class, Amar the messenger of the class, (he would be the one who spread the news of cancelled or delayed class to the whole group) Little Poet Muhaimin whom I believe could turn to a great poet one day… hikhikhik… Good looking Farhan - the son to a police officer, a very quiet Kelantanese girl that is Farhana, (she refused to speak even in her speaking exam) Izhar - the fan of Tores and Hafizzudin and Zuhairi who could not be parted. Syed Ali Imran – thanks for the jeruk you brought from Penang. The charming Nabeeli, Mr Bright - Ikraam, Nasrul the tough fatherly guy, the easy going Izyan (I guess that was why her pet name is Easy) Farah & Afiqah the diligent girls in the front row, Syazana or Angah who talked a lot, she always quarrel with her friend Zamira or Aben whose nick name derived at the field when she was playing hockey (but I did not know the real story) sweet Nadia the future policewoman, Mira who loves to laugh, good girls of mummy’s choice Lela and Nira, Sarawakian Salfarina who wanted to become a businesswoman one day, Nazira, Shuhada, Liyana and her bestest friend Widad, Hamka the prudent, the singing bird Ayu (however she turned down my hope to see her singing during our Eid Gathering.. you owe me girl!), the English Speaking Hidayat whose language if far far far better than the others in that class (err ye ke..?) Saiful Mujaddeed – I would love to call him Mujaddeed because it sounds so mannish but everyone called him Saiful so I had no option…and finally, not to disregard Ain who is so gentle, so rajin and very soft spoken young lady in the class. They were all fine, they were all good. They were so etched in my mind and they were my beloved learners…

Huhuhu.. I could only finish 3 classes.. perhaps will continue with the other two soon… HMM HOPE I DID NOT MISS ANY HERE... HIKHIK...

My Brother's Big Day

It seems a month since I last update this blog.Hmm..I'm now a busy working mom.Hehehehe..

Today is 17th August 2008 a shiny and bright sunday.It is 15 Sya'ban 1429H. Today is my brother (Eddy) big day. It is his wedding day. Alhamdulillah..jadi jugok adik jantan aku sorang ni kawen.

After maghrib, kami sekeluarga dan ditemani oleh Mok, Che, Ayoh Chik Wahab, Achik dan Cik Yu bertolak ke Masjid Batu Tinggi,Kok Lanas, Kelantan. Alhamdulillah, we safely arrive at the Masjid at 9.00pm. Abah mengimamkan solat isyak. By 9.10pm Eddy dah bersila kemas depan Tok Imam.















After selesai mengisi borang kahwin, Tok Imam membaca khutbah perkahwinan, sebagai tanda peringatan untuk semua hadirin yang hadir pada malam itu. Selesai Khutbah, Tok Imam mengamanahkan kepada Ayah pengantin perumpuan untuk menyelesaikan upacara akad nikah.

Inilah saat-saat yang mendebarkan. Hopefuly my brother boleh sekali lafaz saja. Tangan mereka sudah bertaut. Ayah pengantin perempuan melafazkan "Mohd Zahidi Mohd Hamdi..saya nikahkan dan kahwinkan dikau dengan anak perempuan saya Nur Aishah Hassan dengan mas kahwin sebanyak yang tersebut".Then, without any interruption, my brother pn menjawab "aku terima nikahnya dengan Nur Aishah Hj Hassan dengan maskahwin sebanyak yang tersebut". Alhamdulillah. SAH!SAH!kata saksi-saksi sekalian yang ada.Alhamdulillah. Termeterai sudah pertalian kasih dua insan. Semoga mereka berkekalan hingga ke akhir hayat. Semoga keduanya akan membawa keberkatan hidup kepada satu sama lain.Amin.CONGRATULATIONS!!! Selamat penagntin Baru wahai adik ku. Semoga Berbahgia ke akhir hayat. Hehehehe..dah jadi suami orang adik aku sorang ni. Cam tak caya la pulok.Hmm..caya tak caya..ini sume dah jadi kenyataan. Alhamdulillah. Congratulations Bro.



Then, setelah urusan ijab kabul selesai, we head to the rumah pengantin perempuan. We were di jamu dengan nasik. Dah lama tak makan gulai bekwoh. Pastu ada sesi bergambar dengan pengantin.





The clock shows 10.30pm...ahmad haziq baihaqi sudah ngamuk dengan walidnye. Kami sume nk amek gambar dengan eddy. Hehehehe...Ahmad Haziq Baihaqi masuk jugak dalam gambar dengan mulut tenganga sebab nangis. After a snap..we turun and head to Kota Bharu. Masuk je kete..Ahmad Haziq Baihaqi tido terus.Cian dia ngantuk.We reach Kota Bharu at 11.20pm. Penat sungguh.

This story will continue tomorrow pulok. Hari bekwoh umah Pengantin Perempuan.

......Nursery Day.......

1ST July 2008, my first days of work after an elongated maternity leave. I woke up earlier than usual, (I woke up laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate these four and a half months) as I had a lot of things going on in my brain. Luckily I had ironed my clothes, abe’s shirt and I had also prepared Haziq’s things the night before. Huhuhu it was a cold morning. It rained cats and dogs from 3 a.m. until Subuh. (Huhuhuhu sejuk giler nak mandi. Dah lama tak mandi awal pagi). Later when I was done with my bedak, my lippy, my tudung and etc, I prepared a light breakfast for me and abe(hikhik buat air milo je pon). Haziq was still asleep. (He is now so lasak in his snooze, the bed belongs to him entirely that we have to compress ourselves in any accessible space). When everyone was ready to leave the house, I carried Haziq to the car. He was so sleepy, pity him. He normally wakes up at 11 a.m. but today, I had to wake him up before 8 a.m. and I have to wake him up that early each day starting from today. When I reached the nursery, the babysitter welcomed me and Haziq warmly. I was like carrying a burden on my shoulder when I handed Haziq over to the babysitter (her name is Kak Ti). She carried Haziq indoor while I waited outside, to ensure that he wouldn’t sob. I could see he smiled. Hmm he loves to make friends. A respite for me.

At noon, I went to feed him and another relief for me because he did not cry. Hmmm… I took him home, fed him and put him asleep. At 2.30 p.m. I sent him back to the nursery. He was still asleep. Then I drove to work. At 4 p.m. I called Kak Ti to ask about Haziq. she told me Haziq was doing fine. He did not cry, and was about to sleep. They placed him in the cradle and he seemed to be contented in there. Time moved so slowly. 4 p.m. to 5.30 p.m. look as if too long for me. Huhuhu.. The day moved awfully bit by bit. When my watch showed pointed 5.30 p.m., I immediately punched out and started my car. I could not wait any longer to fetch my lil dearie.
When I reached the nursery, he was already dressed in another pair of clothes. They bathed him already. I put him in his seat and drove home. Huhuhu the day ended so slowly today. Luckily I was able to face the day, so did Haziq. I did not know what would happen the next next next day.. hope he would do good………..

>COLICKY BABY<

My baby suffered from colic since he was 2 months old. He cried all day and night that I could not put him down. Sometimes it scared me when he cried till he gasped for air. Only Allah knew how I felt. However it did not affect his growth and development. I took him to a pediatrician in Annisa but he said it was normal for a baby. Most probably he was ill with colic. No treatment can cure colic. He would be better as he grew up... I read an article about colic and I found it was so useful for those parents whose kids suffer from colic.

how to handle a colicky baby

A baby might have colic for a variety of reasons, but parents should remember that colic will eventually disappear.

A colicky baby can try even the most patient parent. The condition of colic perplexes both parents and the medical profession in general. There is no specific reason for the cause of colic, and there is not a definitive cure.

What is colic? The basic definition of a colic is when a baby consistently cries for three or more hours on a daily basis. Some babies cry longer, and some babies may not cry as long. Babies with a severe case of colic may cry all day long, stopping only when they eat or fall asleep. Colicky babies typically cry, however, in late afternoon and early evening.

A baby might have colic for a variety of reasons. Some babies have a more difficult time digesting their milk. Your pediatrician may decide to change your baby’s formula. If a baby is lactose intolerant, you may need to switch to a soy based formula. Sometimes, simply burping your baby several times during her feedings may help to relieve any gas pains she may develop. If you are breastfeeding, you may be ingesting something that is upsetting her tummy, also.

Digestion may not be the cause, however. Some babies just have a more difficult time adjusting to life outside of the womb. Too much stimulation may be the reason that a baby has crying spells. She may respond better to a quieter environment. You could try dimming the lights and singing softly to her. You could also play soft lullaby music in her room.

Some babies just need to be held more than others. You might want to invest in a baby sling or front pack and carry your baby close to your body. She may settle down if she can hear your heart beating, much like she did in the womb. You will not spoil your baby if you hold her a lot. In fact, she may become much calmer and less demanding if you respond to her needs in this way.

Another relaxing way to calm your baby is to administer infant massage. Be sure the room is warm, and then remove your baby’s clothes. You may leave on the diaper if you wish. Massage her arms, legs, back, tummy, and head. Use soft, slow motions. Be firm, but don’t squeeze too hard. If your baby only becomes more irate, however, you may want to stop the massage.

While some babies love to be held, others are the exact opposite. If your baby doesn’t respond to your touch, maybe he just needs to be placed in his bed, infant carrier, or swing. Some babies cry to simply relieve stress. Your baby will not harm himself by crying, and if everything else fails, you shouldn’t feel guilty about putting him down.

Other babies respond well to movement. Parents have been known to place their baby in an infant carrier or on a baby blanket. They then place him on the clothes dryer. The rhythm and the warmth of the dryer may lull your child to sleep, but do not leave your child unattended. Even a newborn can move enough to possibly fall off and risk severe injury. Be sure you hold onto your child!

Infant swings can be lifesavers for parents of colicky babies. Be sure and strap your baby into the swing to prevent any accidental falls. If all else fails, strap your baby into her car seat, and take her for a ride.

Although taking care of a colicky baby can be trying, parents should keep in mind that their child won’t always have colic. Colic typically peaks at around six weeks of age and usually abates by the time a baby is three or four months old. Until then, do the best you can. If you and baby have had a particularly hard day, be sure and take some time for yourself while someone else takes care of the baby. Babies grow so fast, so keep in mind that this period of time will not last forever!

Source: http://www.essortment.com/family/familyparenting_sijd.htm

**getting back to work**

I barely have another couple of days before I am required to commence my job again. It has been nearly five months I stayed at home, nursing my only tot. Since last week, I was so bothered about leaving Haziq with other people. I did not have the heart to let him being taken care of by other person. But I have no alternative. At first I intended to extend my leave until end of this year. Yet after listening to my mom and my mother in law, also from those with experiences, I finally decided to start work in July. According to moms, if I stayed any longer with him, it would be much harder for him to stay with others. He needs to develop his social skill by now. If he just knew me and his walid, he might hesitate to spend his time at other’s place. Luckily we have found a nursery nearby. Near to our home, not too far from work. I could see him during lunch break to feed him. He still refuses bottle. He is a breastfed baby! That worries me so much! I afraid he would cry when he feels hungry and I am not there to feed him. Many thoughts come to my mind. Could the babysitters look after him well especially when he begins to throw tantrum? Could they stand his weep? Do they really love babies that they become babysitters or do they take the job because there is no other job for them? Huhuhuhu.. I have read a lot of nursery-mishap stories. Huh.. Do I have any other option? I still have to send Haziq to day nursery. July 1^st would be Haziq’s first day being taken care of by nannies. Huhuhu.. Hopefully he would be all right… Hmm Haziq, umi would come to see you every lunch break, would never be late to fetch you! I promise my sweetheart!

Sigh……….. the promise still does not make me feel better…….

::...AQUARIUS BABY...::

Haziq was born on the 12th of February 2008 at 7.30 a.m. meaning, we have three zodiac in a row. Abe is a Sagittarius while I am a Capricorn and Haziq is an Aquarius. Hmmm this also means we have to celebrate birthday three consecutive months. December - February. Hehehehe every month is a birthday month... below is what I have read from a magazine for parents about Aquarius Baby.. It does reflect Haziq in some ways...

Aquarius Baby..

Your Aquarian baby will be outwardly calm, relaxed and delightful and

grandparents in particular will dote on him. Aquarians are quick thinkers who want to analyze everything and everyone. An Aquarian child will often be totally unpredictable and come up with lots of ideas; and he will also be sensitive and intuitive. You may find your child will rebel against commands and rules, but if you leave him to think things through he will normally come to a sensible conclusion on his own. Young Aquarians like to have many friends, although few will be very close, and will be generous towards them. Parents should watch out for the typical Aquarian absent-mindedness.

An Aquarian child will be constantly on the go and needs plenty of opportunity to make discoveries. Your child will thrive in a peaceful, calm, harmonious environment. These children are sensitive to any underlying tensions. Aquarian children can look more confident than they feel and so need genuine encouragement and praise from their parents.

Young Aquarians should be encouraged to think logically and practically. Their minds are always working quickly, sometimes too quickly so they often get in a muddle.

The typical Aquarian child is very healthy.

***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****

look how healthy he is.. hikhik....

...:: The Characteristics of Virtuous Wife ...::

Meet up with someone whom you think is just right for you won’t ensue in a snap. I could still learn by heart the first time I met my husband, Abe. (That is what everyone calls him, not only me). It was six years back when I met him in the university Cultural Unit meeting. We befriended for almost 4 years before we determined to get wedded in 2006. 01/06/08 was our 2^nd wedding anniversary, with the new 3^rd member; Haziq. Last year there were only us, thus the way of merriment was different. With Haziq around, we could not hang out watching silver screen nor dine in fancy eateries. We had our own private time at home (luckily it was Sunday), spent our time leisurely, watched TV, talked about our early-love-blooming time, hehehehe very much dramatic and vivid. The anniversary gift??? We had our most precious gift this year. Of course laa Haziq.. (hmm Haziq lagi, I’ll make sure he will read his Umi’s blog once he is able to read to let him know how much we love him and how excited we are to have him!)

Mentioning gift, I did not know what to give Abe for our 2^nd anniversary. Ye laa.. I was on my unpaid leave.. I was broke.. plus point, buying gift for man is not that easy. You don’t have spacious choices. Hahahaha I believed this is what a woman with inadequate notes would say about buying presents! I asked Abe what he would like as his present, but he refused any. He always wants nothing but a good wife. Hikhikhik.. Fortuitously, I came across a book written by our Chief Minister, (who else..our Tok Guru la!) entitled “Bunga Kebahagiaan”, in which one of the topic discussed the characteristics of a wife loved by the husband. I was truly keen on quoting the personality of a virtuous wife to be incorporated here. However translating the features was quite hard to do. Huhuhu I was afraid I would miss the accurate meaning of his writing. So I simply copied from his script.

• Membatasi pandangan hanya kepada suami. Dia puas dengannya dan tidak memandang selainnya, tidak membanding-bandingkannya dengan org lain serta tidak mengharapkan perhatian daripada orang lain selain daripada suaminya. (hmm.. checked! I never looked at other man. I could compare him to nothing.)

• Membataskan aktiviti-aktiviti hariannya di rumah, menghadkan masa di luar rumah kecuali apabila ada alasan syarak yang menghalalkan dia berbuat demikian. (checked! Eh gi keje xpe kan… Abe allows me to.)

• Bersegera meminta maaf meskipun dirinya dizalimi. (huhu I don’t know either I can be that good.)

• Memenuhi hak-hak suami dengan baik, mngasuh dan mendidik anak-anak dengan baik serta memenuhi hak kedua-duanya dengan baik. ( hmm Haziq, Umi will try the best to be the greatest and finest mother to you.)

• Berusaha supaya sentiasa tampil menarik setiap masa. Penampilannya cantik, aromanya wangi, tutur katanya lembut dan memikat serta baik tingkah lakunya. (Abe, I will try to do that. Soft spoken? Tu yg payah sikit tuh..)

• Berusaha untuk tidak memperlihatkan hal-hal yang tidak disukai suaminya,. Isteri yang pintar tidak akan memperlihatkan kepada suaminya darah haid atau nifas, tidak muntah, tidak membuang air kecil ataupun besar di hadapan suaminya dengan alas an tidak pelu malu-malu di hadapan suami. Boleh jadi semua itu tidak disukai oleh suaminya.

• Menghindari perkara-perkara yang boleh merosakkan penampilannya sebagai wanita yang cantik kerana wanita diciptakan untuk berhias cantik. ( I will beautify everything about me!)

• Memberikan penghormatan kepada suami dengan sesuatu yang membahagiakan dan menyenangkan hatinya. (Abe, I will make you happy no matter how.)

• Pandai memasak serta pandai menjaga kebersihan diri, anak-anak dan rumah tangga. (A good cook? CHECKED!! but huhuhu i rarely cook now..)

• Cerdas dan cermat dalam bertindak, berbicara dan meminta. (huhuhu.. payah ni..)

• Sabar, berani dan cekap dalam melaksanakan tanggungjawab rumah tangga. (hmm another challenging job.)

• Menghantar suami ke depan pintu setiap kali suami berangkat ke tempat erja, menyambutnya setiap kali dia pulang, berterima kasih di atas pemberiannya dan selalu mendoakan kebaikan kepadanya. (huhuhuhu……tears!!! Sometimes when Abe leave for work, I was still in bed.. sorry sayang!)

Oh My God! Oh My God! Oh No!!! I am not yet a good wife.. huhuhu.. I have to try harder to fulfill those criteria. Huhuhuhu… I don’t know when will I be perfect for Abe… sometimes we tend to neglect the simplest things in our life because we believe they are not so important. Sending husband to the door when he’s leaving for work… not many of us can do that. How many times in a week we cook for our family? Huhuhu nasi bungkus jgk yang best. Huh.. it seems that Abe’s gift for our 2^nd anniversary is not yet ready……..

;;;There Comes the Lil Cutie;;;

It was February 10^th 2008. I went to Annisa Medical Center to see my gynecologist for my concluding health check before I deliver our precious. My due date was scheduled on the 24^th February 2008. Looking at the date, I still have a fortnight sooner when I could see my baby. And for me the day was a bit ahead that I did not expect the gynea would ask me to admit the next day at 9 a.m. because the bay already found its way out. I was a bit surprise to hear that because I did not feel any pain, with the exception of minor Braxton Hicks contraction, (which is ordinary for women with 30 weeks over pregnancy) no cervix dilation, and what surprised me was… I just came back from welcoming final-baby items-shopping. More astonishingly, I took perahu tambang to Mundok ( Kelantan-Thai border) to buy kain tudung bawal, and Abe wanted to look for his bike spare parts just the day earlier, sensing that I did not recognize any signs of giving birth. Luckily I did not deliver my baby at the border. Huhuhu if it happened to be that way, I wondered what is my baby’s nationality would be… Moreover, I did not come home to deliver the baby yet. It was Chinese New Year and we had 4 days holiday. We went to the hospital for check up, not to be hospitalized yet.. huhuhuhu….

After signing forms and listening to the gynea about all the procedures, we went to my father’s place in KB. I packed the necessaries and Abe did all the checking. At 9 a.m. on the 11^th of February, after we had our nasik belauk.. (huhuhu I could only taste nasi blauk again after 100 days confinement.Ahh.. 100 days were not that long).(hmm the red line was added by Abe when I left the laptop to feed Haziq). My mom took us to Annisa and the nurse took us to Wad Sayang. I was on bed 10. Moment later, a nurse came, pushing a machine ( I don’t know what do they call that thing) to verify on my contraction level and also the baby’s pulsate. Everything was normal. When the nurse left, another nurse came with 2 tablets to be put into my colon. Huhuhuhu they wanted all stuff inside my stomach to come out. Eh, forgot to mention that Umi, Papa and Abe Chik(my in-laws) was at the hospital too.. Sorry ye, tak sengaja… hahahah.. later on I felt so hungry so I went to the canteen with Abe and my in laws to have our lunch. On the way o the canteen, I met Dr Rosliza (the gynea) she stared at me and said “ La.. buleh jalan lagi? Takpelaa selagi x rasa sakit betul-betul buleh je nak gi memana pon..” hikhikhik…

After Asar, a nurse came and told us that our room was all set. Hmm actually we asked for a private room. Wad Sayang was a fleeting, while waiting for Wad Kasih. So I moved to Wad Kasih. Hmm a relief.. I could watch TV.. had my own bathroom, a cozy couch… that afternoon, my granny came Cik Zaa and lil cousins. Hmm Wa was also there. Everybody came to visit the not-so-sick me. Muahaha.. At 6 p.m. I started to sense the twinge. It came once in a while. Huh the pain was killing from time to time. I could hardly sleep that night. I just stared at my mom and mom in law sleeping next to me. (They accompanied me the whole night). And it was 2.30 a.m. when I woke up, and noticed that my sarong drenched. Huh! I thought I peed in my sarong! Huhuhuhu… I called my mom… then she told me that my water broke! Both moms called the nurse and Abe. Minutes later the nurse (Maksu) came with a wheelchair. At 3 a.m. I was pushed to labor room.

I could not lie down. Every time I lay down, I felt more excruciating. But I have no other choice other than lying down because again the nurse needed to check my graph of contraction and the baby’s heartbeat. An hour passed, Dr Rosliza came in and checked the baby’s heartbeat.. No changes since I was admitted at 9.30 a.m. yesterday. 2cm remained 2 cm. I could not resist the pain any longer. I felt like fainting! But they said that I was not ready to deliver the baby yet. I could not describe the pain. I could only remember I hold Abe’s hand, I saw my mom, my mom in law, then Abe left, my mom hugged me, I cried, I saw my mom’s tears, Abe came back in with red eyes, Mom in law hold her breath, I cried, the pain was so indescribable. Maksu whispered some doa for me to lessen the pain.. I cried, my lips kept reciting the doa, selawat, surah alam nasyrah repeatedly. 2 hours gone.. still in the labor room.. 3 hours spent in the labor room, I did not know how many time I fainted.. At 6.30, my baby’s heartbeat slowed down, Dr Rosliza recommended us not to kill the time any longer because she was afraid that the baby might drown and I did not have the strength to deliver the baby in normal way. There came the final resolution.. Caesarean!

The nurses changed my clothes to green operation suit, put on the cap, pushed the stretcher to the operation theater. It was cold in there! I saw no one though there were many people in the OT. I could only remember Dr Wan Aasim, the anesthetist. The nurses moved me to the operation table, where I could see the lights which were similar to what I have seen on Medic TV and hospital series.The last thing I could recall in the OT was when Dr Wan said.. “ Assalamualaikum Nurul, sakit ke? Tahan sikit ye. Saya nk cucuk ubat bius. This will be bit stinging. Nurul baca Al-Fatihah, sampai je Amin, Nurul dah tak akan rasa apa-apa..”I recited Surah Al-Fatihah and by the time I came to the last verse and Amin… there was nothing that I could remember.

I woke up, I looked at the clock, it was 9 a.m. The first thing that came to my mind was the baby. I could not articulate even a word, there was the Darth Vader thing supplying O2 on my face. I saw Abe on my left. Smiling.. I put away the thing and I asked him whether the baby was ok.. I saw him nodded and.. I slept again… 2p.m. I regained my consciousness (not fully). I did not see my baby yet! huhuhu really wanted to look at it. I have been guessing how it looks like for 38 weeks.. I asked for the baby, the nurse brought it next to me… in its small buggy. It was so fair, so beautiful, so charming, so stunning, so fine looking and so adorable! Only my tears can explain my feeling and emotion at that time. Ahmad Haziq Baihaqi, the seed of our love…..

when he was about to arrive...

It was February 10^th 2008. I went to Annisa Medical Center to see my gynecologist for my concluding health check before I deliver our precious. My due date was scheduled on the 24^th February 2008. Looking at the date, I still have a fortnight sooner when I could see my baby. And for me the day was a bit ahead that I did not expect the gynea would ask me to admit the next day at 9 a.m. because the bay already found its way out. I was a bit surprise to hear that because I did not feel any pain, with the exception of minor Braxton Hicks contraction, (which is ordinary for women with 30 weeks over pregnancy) no cervix dilation, and what surprised me was… I just came back from welcoming final-baby items-shopping. More astonishingly, I took perahu tambang to Mundok ( Kelantan-Thai border) to buy kain tudung bawal, and Abe wanted to look for his bike spare parts just the day earlier, sensing that I did not recognize any signs of giving birth. Luckily I did not deliver my baby at the border. Huhuhu if it happened to be that way, I wondered what is my baby’s nationality would be… Moreover, I did not come home to deliver the baby yet. It was Chinese New Year and we had 4 days holiday. We went to the hospital for check up, not to be hospitalized. huhuhuhu….

After signing forms and listening to the gynea about all the procedures, we went to my father’s place in KB. I packed the necessaries and Abe did all the checking. At 9 a.m. on the 11^th of February, after we had our nasik belauk.. (huhuhu I could only taste nasi blauk again after 100 days confinement.Ahh.. 100 days were not that long).(hmm Abe added this when I left the laptop to feed Haziq). My mom took us to Annisa and the nurse took us to Wad Sayang. I was on bed 10. Moment later, a nurse came, pushing a machine ( I don’t know what do they call that thing) to verify on my contraction level and also the baby’s pulsate. Everything was normal. When the nurse left, another nurse came with 2 tablets to be put into my colon. Huhuhuhu they wanted all stuff inside my stomach to come out. Eh, forgot to mention that Umi, Papa and Abe Chik(my in-laws) was at the hospital too.. Sorry ye, tak sengaja… hahahah.. later on I felt so hungry so I went to the canteen with Abe and my in laws to have our lunch. On the way o the canteen, I met Dr Rosliza (the gynea) she stared at me and said “ La.. buleh jalan lagi? Takpelaa selagi x rasa sakit betul-betul buleh je nak gi memana pon..” hikhikhik…

After Asar, a nurse came and told us that our room was all set. Hmm actually we asked for a private room. Wad Sayang was a fleeting, while waiting for Wad Kasih. So I moved to Wad Kasih. Hmm a relief.. I could watch TV.. had my own bathroom, a cozy couch… that afternoon, my granny came Cik Zaa and lil cousins. Hmm Wa was also there. Everybody came to visit the not-so-sick me. Muahaha.. At 6 p.m. I started to sense the twinge. It came once in a while. Huh the pain was killing from time to time. I could hardly sleep that night. I just stared at my mom and mom in law sleeping next to me. (They accompanied me the whole night). And it was 2.30 a.m. when I woke up, and noticed that my sarong drenched. Huh! I thought I peed in my sarong! Huhuhuhu… I called my mom… then she told me that my water broke! Both moms called the nurse and Abe. Minutes later the nurse (Maksu) came with a wheelchair. At 3 a.m. I was pushed to labor room.

I could not lie down. Every time I lay down, I felt more excruciating. But I have no other choice other than lying down because again the nurse needed to check my graph of contraction and the baby’s heartbeat. An hour passed, Dr Rosliza came in and checked the baby’s heartbeat.. No changes since I was admitted at 9.30 a.m. yesterday. 2cm remained 2 cm. I could not resist the pain any longer. I felt like fainting! But they said that I was not ready to deliver the baby yet. I could not describe the pain. I could only remember I hold Abe’s hand, I saw my mom, my mom in law, then Abe left, my mom hugged me, I cried, I saw my mom’s tears, Abe came back in with red eyes, Mom in law hold her breath, I cried, the pain was so indescribable. Maksu whispered some doa for me to lessen the pain.. I cried, my lips kept reciting the doa, selawat, surah alam nasyrah repeatedly. 2 hours gone.. still in the labor room.. 3 hours spent in the labor room, I did not know how many time I fainted.. At 6.30, my baby’s heartbeat slowed down, Dr Rosliza recommended us not to kill the time any longer because she was afraid that the baby might drown and I did not have the strength to deliver the baby in normal way. There came the final resolution.. Caesarean!

The nurses changed my clothes to green operation suit, put on the cap, pushed the stretcher to the operation theater. It was cold in there! I saw no one though there were many people in the OT. I could only remember Dr Wan Aasim, the anesthetist. The nurses moved me to the operation table, where I could see the lights which were similar to what I have seen on Medic TV and hospital series.The last thing I could recall in the OT was when Dr Wan said..“ Assalamualaikum Nurul, sakit ke? Tahan sikit ye. Saya nk cucuk ubat bius. This will be bit sting. Nurul baca Al-Fatihah, sampai je Amin, Nurul dah tak akan rasa apa-apa..”I recited Surah Al-Fatihah and by the time I came to the last verse and Amin… there’s nothing that I could remember.

I woke up, I looked at the clock, it was 9 a.m. The first thing that came to my mind was the baby. I could not articulate even a word, there was the Darth Vader thing supplying O2 on my face. I saw Abe on my left. Smiling.. I put away the thing and I asked him whether the baby was ok.. I saw him nodded and.. I slept again… 2p.m. I regained my consciousness (not fully). I did not see my baby yet! huhuhu really wanted to look at it. I have been guessing how it looks like for 38 weeks.. I asked for the baby, the nurse brought it next to me… in its small buggy. It was so fair, so beautiful, so charming, so stunning, so fine looking and so adorable! Only my tears can explain my feeling and emotion at that time. Ahmad Haziq Baihaqi, the seed of our love…..

Abe azankan Ahmad Haziq Baihaqi.. i was still unconscious..

before his presence

It was months back I should have been starting throwing out words but…. as a typical explanation; time renounced me from articulating the occurrences into lexis. My lengthy moment of deducing and marveling, how the boy inside my womb looks like, ended four months ago. Ahmad Haziq Baihaqi; the dearest gift from Allah. He is hoped to have all wit and aptitude as how we named him. Two episodes of miscarriage before, Haziq’s presence brings our fears to a halt , replaced by the utmost glory.

Three weeks of delayed menses, I supposed something was about to happen. Without telling Abe, I bought two sets of pregnancy test kit (why two?) from nearby Guardian (not that near …still have to drive to Giant Batu Caves) and was very excited to do the test. The test should be done the first thing when you get up in the morning. Unfortunately my zeal could not wait any longer. (It was afternoon, 3p.m.). Paying no heed to the clock, I did the test and few minutes later the second stroke became visible. I had no idea how did my emotion responses to the affirmation stroke. I kept the affecting reaction to myself. I had another set of pregnancy test. I believed that I should keep the appearing blue line for me alone first.. Yeah laaaaaa.. it was 3p.m.. The results might go incorrect. Perhaps the HcG read something else. Hikhik… The next morning, as being instructed at the back of the pregnancy test box, I went straight to the toilet and repeated the test. Then I counted 1.. 2.. before I finished counting until 3, the blue line come into sight very obviously.

Seeing that blue line on a pregnancy test is a life-changing moment. But once the news has sunk in, what’s going to happen to me next? I have seen the blue line twice before. Yet nothing altered my married days. It was only me and Abe. Now that I know I was pregnant (again) there was only one thing in my mind. Thinking about my new growing baby would take up every waking moment, and it was very hard to concentrate on anything else. I had an insatiable desire to read everything on pregnancy and fetal development, especially about the baby’s “week”.

Shadowed by two miscarriage in a year, I did not loss the bliss and innocence of carrying a baby. I was happy and grateful. But yes, sometimes I can’t help re-live the traumatic experience. At times I tend to think that I am someone to whom bad things could befall. Sense of confidence and peace was every so often vague. However, with the help and support from Abe, our family, Ahmad Haziq Baihaqi arrived at this world without a scratch and he was beginning to walk the life passage with us.

It was months back I should have been starting throwing out words but…. as a typical explanation; time renounced me from articulating the occurrences into lexis. My lengthy moment of deducing and marveling, how the boy inside my womb looks like, ended four months ago. Ahmad Haziq Baihaqi; the dearest gift from Allah. He is hoped to have all wit and aptitude as how we named him. Two episodes of miscarriage before, Haziq’s presence brings our fears to a halt , replaced by the utmost glory.

Three weeks of delayed menses, I supposed something was about to happen. Without telling Abe, I bought two sets of pregnancy test kit (why two?) from nearby Guardian (not that near …still have to drive to Giant Batu Caves) and was very excited to do the test. The test should be done the first thing when you get up in the morning. Unfortunately my zeal could not wait any longer. (It was afternoon, 3p.m.). Paying no heed to the clock, I did the test and few minutes later the second stroke became visible. I had no idea how did my emotion responses to the affirmation stroke. I kept the affecting reaction to myself. I had another set of pregnancy test. I believed that I should keep the appearing blue line for me alone first.. Yeah laaaaaa.. it was 3p.m.. The results might go incorrect. Perhaps the HcG read something else. Hikhik… The next morning, as being instructed at the back of the pregnancy test box, I went straight to the toilet and repeated the test. Then I counted 1.. 2.. before I finished counting until 3, the blue line come into sight very obviously.

Seeing that blue line on a pregnancy test is a life-changing moment. But once the news has sunk in, what’s going to happen to me next? I have seen the blue line twice before. Yet nothing altered my married days. It was only me and Abe. Now that I know I was pregnant (again) there was only one thing in my mind. Thinking about my new growing baby would take up every waking moment, and it was very hard to concentrate on anything else. I had an insatiable desire to read everything on pregnancy and fetal development, especially about the baby’s “week”.