>COLICKY BABY<

My baby suffered from colic since he was 2 months old. He cried all day and night that I could not put him down. Sometimes it scared me when he cried till he gasped for air. Only Allah knew how I felt. However it did not affect his growth and development. I took him to a pediatrician in Annisa but he said it was normal for a baby. Most probably he was ill with colic. No treatment can cure colic. He would be better as he grew up... I read an article about colic and I found it was so useful for those parents whose kids suffer from colic.

how to handle a colicky baby

A baby might have colic for a variety of reasons, but parents should remember that colic will eventually disappear.

A colicky baby can try even the most patient parent. The condition of colic perplexes both parents and the medical profession in general. There is no specific reason for the cause of colic, and there is not a definitive cure.

What is colic? The basic definition of a colic is when a baby consistently cries for three or more hours on a daily basis. Some babies cry longer, and some babies may not cry as long. Babies with a severe case of colic may cry all day long, stopping only when they eat or fall asleep. Colicky babies typically cry, however, in late afternoon and early evening.

A baby might have colic for a variety of reasons. Some babies have a more difficult time digesting their milk. Your pediatrician may decide to change your baby’s formula. If a baby is lactose intolerant, you may need to switch to a soy based formula. Sometimes, simply burping your baby several times during her feedings may help to relieve any gas pains she may develop. If you are breastfeeding, you may be ingesting something that is upsetting her tummy, also.

Digestion may not be the cause, however. Some babies just have a more difficult time adjusting to life outside of the womb. Too much stimulation may be the reason that a baby has crying spells. She may respond better to a quieter environment. You could try dimming the lights and singing softly to her. You could also play soft lullaby music in her room.

Some babies just need to be held more than others. You might want to invest in a baby sling or front pack and carry your baby close to your body. She may settle down if she can hear your heart beating, much like she did in the womb. You will not spoil your baby if you hold her a lot. In fact, she may become much calmer and less demanding if you respond to her needs in this way.

Another relaxing way to calm your baby is to administer infant massage. Be sure the room is warm, and then remove your baby’s clothes. You may leave on the diaper if you wish. Massage her arms, legs, back, tummy, and head. Use soft, slow motions. Be firm, but don’t squeeze too hard. If your baby only becomes more irate, however, you may want to stop the massage.

While some babies love to be held, others are the exact opposite. If your baby doesn’t respond to your touch, maybe he just needs to be placed in his bed, infant carrier, or swing. Some babies cry to simply relieve stress. Your baby will not harm himself by crying, and if everything else fails, you shouldn’t feel guilty about putting him down.

Other babies respond well to movement. Parents have been known to place their baby in an infant carrier or on a baby blanket. They then place him on the clothes dryer. The rhythm and the warmth of the dryer may lull your child to sleep, but do not leave your child unattended. Even a newborn can move enough to possibly fall off and risk severe injury. Be sure you hold onto your child!

Infant swings can be lifesavers for parents of colicky babies. Be sure and strap your baby into the swing to prevent any accidental falls. If all else fails, strap your baby into her car seat, and take her for a ride.

Although taking care of a colicky baby can be trying, parents should keep in mind that their child won’t always have colic. Colic typically peaks at around six weeks of age and usually abates by the time a baby is three or four months old. Until then, do the best you can. If you and baby have had a particularly hard day, be sure and take some time for yourself while someone else takes care of the baby. Babies grow so fast, so keep in mind that this period of time will not last forever!

Source: http://www.essortment.com/family/familyparenting_sijd.htm

**getting back to work**

I barely have another couple of days before I am required to commence my job again. It has been nearly five months I stayed at home, nursing my only tot. Since last week, I was so bothered about leaving Haziq with other people. I did not have the heart to let him being taken care of by other person. But I have no alternative. At first I intended to extend my leave until end of this year. Yet after listening to my mom and my mother in law, also from those with experiences, I finally decided to start work in July. According to moms, if I stayed any longer with him, it would be much harder for him to stay with others. He needs to develop his social skill by now. If he just knew me and his walid, he might hesitate to spend his time at other’s place. Luckily we have found a nursery nearby. Near to our home, not too far from work. I could see him during lunch break to feed him. He still refuses bottle. He is a breastfed baby! That worries me so much! I afraid he would cry when he feels hungry and I am not there to feed him. Many thoughts come to my mind. Could the babysitters look after him well especially when he begins to throw tantrum? Could they stand his weep? Do they really love babies that they become babysitters or do they take the job because there is no other job for them? Huhuhuhu.. I have read a lot of nursery-mishap stories. Huh.. Do I have any other option? I still have to send Haziq to day nursery. July 1^st would be Haziq’s first day being taken care of by nannies. Huhuhu.. Hopefully he would be all right… Hmm Haziq, umi would come to see you every lunch break, would never be late to fetch you! I promise my sweetheart!

Sigh……….. the promise still does not make me feel better…….

::...AQUARIUS BABY...::

Haziq was born on the 12th of February 2008 at 7.30 a.m. meaning, we have three zodiac in a row. Abe is a Sagittarius while I am a Capricorn and Haziq is an Aquarius. Hmmm this also means we have to celebrate birthday three consecutive months. December - February. Hehehehe every month is a birthday month... below is what I have read from a magazine for parents about Aquarius Baby.. It does reflect Haziq in some ways...

Aquarius Baby..

Your Aquarian baby will be outwardly calm, relaxed and delightful and

grandparents in particular will dote on him. Aquarians are quick thinkers who want to analyze everything and everyone. An Aquarian child will often be totally unpredictable and come up with lots of ideas; and he will also be sensitive and intuitive. You may find your child will rebel against commands and rules, but if you leave him to think things through he will normally come to a sensible conclusion on his own. Young Aquarians like to have many friends, although few will be very close, and will be generous towards them. Parents should watch out for the typical Aquarian absent-mindedness.

An Aquarian child will be constantly on the go and needs plenty of opportunity to make discoveries. Your child will thrive in a peaceful, calm, harmonious environment. These children are sensitive to any underlying tensions. Aquarian children can look more confident than they feel and so need genuine encouragement and praise from their parents.

Young Aquarians should be encouraged to think logically and practically. Their minds are always working quickly, sometimes too quickly so they often get in a muddle.

The typical Aquarian child is very healthy.

***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****

look how healthy he is.. hikhik....

...:: The Characteristics of Virtuous Wife ...::

Meet up with someone whom you think is just right for you won’t ensue in a snap. I could still learn by heart the first time I met my husband, Abe. (That is what everyone calls him, not only me). It was six years back when I met him in the university Cultural Unit meeting. We befriended for almost 4 years before we determined to get wedded in 2006. 01/06/08 was our 2^nd wedding anniversary, with the new 3^rd member; Haziq. Last year there were only us, thus the way of merriment was different. With Haziq around, we could not hang out watching silver screen nor dine in fancy eateries. We had our own private time at home (luckily it was Sunday), spent our time leisurely, watched TV, talked about our early-love-blooming time, hehehehe very much dramatic and vivid. The anniversary gift??? We had our most precious gift this year. Of course laa Haziq.. (hmm Haziq lagi, I’ll make sure he will read his Umi’s blog once he is able to read to let him know how much we love him and how excited we are to have him!)

Mentioning gift, I did not know what to give Abe for our 2^nd anniversary. Ye laa.. I was on my unpaid leave.. I was broke.. plus point, buying gift for man is not that easy. You don’t have spacious choices. Hahahaha I believed this is what a woman with inadequate notes would say about buying presents! I asked Abe what he would like as his present, but he refused any. He always wants nothing but a good wife. Hikhikhik.. Fortuitously, I came across a book written by our Chief Minister, (who else..our Tok Guru la!) entitled “Bunga Kebahagiaan”, in which one of the topic discussed the characteristics of a wife loved by the husband. I was truly keen on quoting the personality of a virtuous wife to be incorporated here. However translating the features was quite hard to do. Huhuhu I was afraid I would miss the accurate meaning of his writing. So I simply copied from his script.

• Membatasi pandangan hanya kepada suami. Dia puas dengannya dan tidak memandang selainnya, tidak membanding-bandingkannya dengan org lain serta tidak mengharapkan perhatian daripada orang lain selain daripada suaminya. (hmm.. checked! I never looked at other man. I could compare him to nothing.)

• Membataskan aktiviti-aktiviti hariannya di rumah, menghadkan masa di luar rumah kecuali apabila ada alasan syarak yang menghalalkan dia berbuat demikian. (checked! Eh gi keje xpe kan… Abe allows me to.)

• Bersegera meminta maaf meskipun dirinya dizalimi. (huhu I don’t know either I can be that good.)

• Memenuhi hak-hak suami dengan baik, mngasuh dan mendidik anak-anak dengan baik serta memenuhi hak kedua-duanya dengan baik. ( hmm Haziq, Umi will try the best to be the greatest and finest mother to you.)

• Berusaha supaya sentiasa tampil menarik setiap masa. Penampilannya cantik, aromanya wangi, tutur katanya lembut dan memikat serta baik tingkah lakunya. (Abe, I will try to do that. Soft spoken? Tu yg payah sikit tuh..)

• Berusaha untuk tidak memperlihatkan hal-hal yang tidak disukai suaminya,. Isteri yang pintar tidak akan memperlihatkan kepada suaminya darah haid atau nifas, tidak muntah, tidak membuang air kecil ataupun besar di hadapan suaminya dengan alas an tidak pelu malu-malu di hadapan suami. Boleh jadi semua itu tidak disukai oleh suaminya.

• Menghindari perkara-perkara yang boleh merosakkan penampilannya sebagai wanita yang cantik kerana wanita diciptakan untuk berhias cantik. ( I will beautify everything about me!)

• Memberikan penghormatan kepada suami dengan sesuatu yang membahagiakan dan menyenangkan hatinya. (Abe, I will make you happy no matter how.)

• Pandai memasak serta pandai menjaga kebersihan diri, anak-anak dan rumah tangga. (A good cook? CHECKED!! but huhuhu i rarely cook now..)

• Cerdas dan cermat dalam bertindak, berbicara dan meminta. (huhuhu.. payah ni..)

• Sabar, berani dan cekap dalam melaksanakan tanggungjawab rumah tangga. (hmm another challenging job.)

• Menghantar suami ke depan pintu setiap kali suami berangkat ke tempat erja, menyambutnya setiap kali dia pulang, berterima kasih di atas pemberiannya dan selalu mendoakan kebaikan kepadanya. (huhuhuhu……tears!!! Sometimes when Abe leave for work, I was still in bed.. sorry sayang!)

Oh My God! Oh My God! Oh No!!! I am not yet a good wife.. huhuhu.. I have to try harder to fulfill those criteria. Huhuhuhu… I don’t know when will I be perfect for Abe… sometimes we tend to neglect the simplest things in our life because we believe they are not so important. Sending husband to the door when he’s leaving for work… not many of us can do that. How many times in a week we cook for our family? Huhuhu nasi bungkus jgk yang best. Huh.. it seems that Abe’s gift for our 2^nd anniversary is not yet ready……..

;;;There Comes the Lil Cutie;;;

It was February 10^th 2008. I went to Annisa Medical Center to see my gynecologist for my concluding health check before I deliver our precious. My due date was scheduled on the 24^th February 2008. Looking at the date, I still have a fortnight sooner when I could see my baby. And for me the day was a bit ahead that I did not expect the gynea would ask me to admit the next day at 9 a.m. because the bay already found its way out. I was a bit surprise to hear that because I did not feel any pain, with the exception of minor Braxton Hicks contraction, (which is ordinary for women with 30 weeks over pregnancy) no cervix dilation, and what surprised me was… I just came back from welcoming final-baby items-shopping. More astonishingly, I took perahu tambang to Mundok ( Kelantan-Thai border) to buy kain tudung bawal, and Abe wanted to look for his bike spare parts just the day earlier, sensing that I did not recognize any signs of giving birth. Luckily I did not deliver my baby at the border. Huhuhu if it happened to be that way, I wondered what is my baby’s nationality would be… Moreover, I did not come home to deliver the baby yet. It was Chinese New Year and we had 4 days holiday. We went to the hospital for check up, not to be hospitalized yet.. huhuhuhu….

After signing forms and listening to the gynea about all the procedures, we went to my father’s place in KB. I packed the necessaries and Abe did all the checking. At 9 a.m. on the 11^th of February, after we had our nasik belauk.. (huhuhu I could only taste nasi blauk again after 100 days confinement.Ahh.. 100 days were not that long).(hmm the red line was added by Abe when I left the laptop to feed Haziq). My mom took us to Annisa and the nurse took us to Wad Sayang. I was on bed 10. Moment later, a nurse came, pushing a machine ( I don’t know what do they call that thing) to verify on my contraction level and also the baby’s pulsate. Everything was normal. When the nurse left, another nurse came with 2 tablets to be put into my colon. Huhuhuhu they wanted all stuff inside my stomach to come out. Eh, forgot to mention that Umi, Papa and Abe Chik(my in-laws) was at the hospital too.. Sorry ye, tak sengaja… hahahah.. later on I felt so hungry so I went to the canteen with Abe and my in laws to have our lunch. On the way o the canteen, I met Dr Rosliza (the gynea) she stared at me and said “ La.. buleh jalan lagi? Takpelaa selagi x rasa sakit betul-betul buleh je nak gi memana pon..” hikhikhik…

After Asar, a nurse came and told us that our room was all set. Hmm actually we asked for a private room. Wad Sayang was a fleeting, while waiting for Wad Kasih. So I moved to Wad Kasih. Hmm a relief.. I could watch TV.. had my own bathroom, a cozy couch… that afternoon, my granny came Cik Zaa and lil cousins. Hmm Wa was also there. Everybody came to visit the not-so-sick me. Muahaha.. At 6 p.m. I started to sense the twinge. It came once in a while. Huh the pain was killing from time to time. I could hardly sleep that night. I just stared at my mom and mom in law sleeping next to me. (They accompanied me the whole night). And it was 2.30 a.m. when I woke up, and noticed that my sarong drenched. Huh! I thought I peed in my sarong! Huhuhuhu… I called my mom… then she told me that my water broke! Both moms called the nurse and Abe. Minutes later the nurse (Maksu) came with a wheelchair. At 3 a.m. I was pushed to labor room.

I could not lie down. Every time I lay down, I felt more excruciating. But I have no other choice other than lying down because again the nurse needed to check my graph of contraction and the baby’s heartbeat. An hour passed, Dr Rosliza came in and checked the baby’s heartbeat.. No changes since I was admitted at 9.30 a.m. yesterday. 2cm remained 2 cm. I could not resist the pain any longer. I felt like fainting! But they said that I was not ready to deliver the baby yet. I could not describe the pain. I could only remember I hold Abe’s hand, I saw my mom, my mom in law, then Abe left, my mom hugged me, I cried, I saw my mom’s tears, Abe came back in with red eyes, Mom in law hold her breath, I cried, the pain was so indescribable. Maksu whispered some doa for me to lessen the pain.. I cried, my lips kept reciting the doa, selawat, surah alam nasyrah repeatedly. 2 hours gone.. still in the labor room.. 3 hours spent in the labor room, I did not know how many time I fainted.. At 6.30, my baby’s heartbeat slowed down, Dr Rosliza recommended us not to kill the time any longer because she was afraid that the baby might drown and I did not have the strength to deliver the baby in normal way. There came the final resolution.. Caesarean!

The nurses changed my clothes to green operation suit, put on the cap, pushed the stretcher to the operation theater. It was cold in there! I saw no one though there were many people in the OT. I could only remember Dr Wan Aasim, the anesthetist. The nurses moved me to the operation table, where I could see the lights which were similar to what I have seen on Medic TV and hospital series.The last thing I could recall in the OT was when Dr Wan said.. “ Assalamualaikum Nurul, sakit ke? Tahan sikit ye. Saya nk cucuk ubat bius. This will be bit stinging. Nurul baca Al-Fatihah, sampai je Amin, Nurul dah tak akan rasa apa-apa..”I recited Surah Al-Fatihah and by the time I came to the last verse and Amin… there was nothing that I could remember.

I woke up, I looked at the clock, it was 9 a.m. The first thing that came to my mind was the baby. I could not articulate even a word, there was the Darth Vader thing supplying O2 on my face. I saw Abe on my left. Smiling.. I put away the thing and I asked him whether the baby was ok.. I saw him nodded and.. I slept again… 2p.m. I regained my consciousness (not fully). I did not see my baby yet! huhuhu really wanted to look at it. I have been guessing how it looks like for 38 weeks.. I asked for the baby, the nurse brought it next to me… in its small buggy. It was so fair, so beautiful, so charming, so stunning, so fine looking and so adorable! Only my tears can explain my feeling and emotion at that time. Ahmad Haziq Baihaqi, the seed of our love…..

when he was about to arrive...

It was February 10^th 2008. I went to Annisa Medical Center to see my gynecologist for my concluding health check before I deliver our precious. My due date was scheduled on the 24^th February 2008. Looking at the date, I still have a fortnight sooner when I could see my baby. And for me the day was a bit ahead that I did not expect the gynea would ask me to admit the next day at 9 a.m. because the bay already found its way out. I was a bit surprise to hear that because I did not feel any pain, with the exception of minor Braxton Hicks contraction, (which is ordinary for women with 30 weeks over pregnancy) no cervix dilation, and what surprised me was… I just came back from welcoming final-baby items-shopping. More astonishingly, I took perahu tambang to Mundok ( Kelantan-Thai border) to buy kain tudung bawal, and Abe wanted to look for his bike spare parts just the day earlier, sensing that I did not recognize any signs of giving birth. Luckily I did not deliver my baby at the border. Huhuhu if it happened to be that way, I wondered what is my baby’s nationality would be… Moreover, I did not come home to deliver the baby yet. It was Chinese New Year and we had 4 days holiday. We went to the hospital for check up, not to be hospitalized. huhuhuhu….

After signing forms and listening to the gynea about all the procedures, we went to my father’s place in KB. I packed the necessaries and Abe did all the checking. At 9 a.m. on the 11^th of February, after we had our nasik belauk.. (huhuhu I could only taste nasi blauk again after 100 days confinement.Ahh.. 100 days were not that long).(hmm Abe added this when I left the laptop to feed Haziq). My mom took us to Annisa and the nurse took us to Wad Sayang. I was on bed 10. Moment later, a nurse came, pushing a machine ( I don’t know what do they call that thing) to verify on my contraction level and also the baby’s pulsate. Everything was normal. When the nurse left, another nurse came with 2 tablets to be put into my colon. Huhuhuhu they wanted all stuff inside my stomach to come out. Eh, forgot to mention that Umi, Papa and Abe Chik(my in-laws) was at the hospital too.. Sorry ye, tak sengaja… hahahah.. later on I felt so hungry so I went to the canteen with Abe and my in laws to have our lunch. On the way o the canteen, I met Dr Rosliza (the gynea) she stared at me and said “ La.. buleh jalan lagi? Takpelaa selagi x rasa sakit betul-betul buleh je nak gi memana pon..” hikhikhik…

After Asar, a nurse came and told us that our room was all set. Hmm actually we asked for a private room. Wad Sayang was a fleeting, while waiting for Wad Kasih. So I moved to Wad Kasih. Hmm a relief.. I could watch TV.. had my own bathroom, a cozy couch… that afternoon, my granny came Cik Zaa and lil cousins. Hmm Wa was also there. Everybody came to visit the not-so-sick me. Muahaha.. At 6 p.m. I started to sense the twinge. It came once in a while. Huh the pain was killing from time to time. I could hardly sleep that night. I just stared at my mom and mom in law sleeping next to me. (They accompanied me the whole night). And it was 2.30 a.m. when I woke up, and noticed that my sarong drenched. Huh! I thought I peed in my sarong! Huhuhuhu… I called my mom… then she told me that my water broke! Both moms called the nurse and Abe. Minutes later the nurse (Maksu) came with a wheelchair. At 3 a.m. I was pushed to labor room.

I could not lie down. Every time I lay down, I felt more excruciating. But I have no other choice other than lying down because again the nurse needed to check my graph of contraction and the baby’s heartbeat. An hour passed, Dr Rosliza came in and checked the baby’s heartbeat.. No changes since I was admitted at 9.30 a.m. yesterday. 2cm remained 2 cm. I could not resist the pain any longer. I felt like fainting! But they said that I was not ready to deliver the baby yet. I could not describe the pain. I could only remember I hold Abe’s hand, I saw my mom, my mom in law, then Abe left, my mom hugged me, I cried, I saw my mom’s tears, Abe came back in with red eyes, Mom in law hold her breath, I cried, the pain was so indescribable. Maksu whispered some doa for me to lessen the pain.. I cried, my lips kept reciting the doa, selawat, surah alam nasyrah repeatedly. 2 hours gone.. still in the labor room.. 3 hours spent in the labor room, I did not know how many time I fainted.. At 6.30, my baby’s heartbeat slowed down, Dr Rosliza recommended us not to kill the time any longer because she was afraid that the baby might drown and I did not have the strength to deliver the baby in normal way. There came the final resolution.. Caesarean!

The nurses changed my clothes to green operation suit, put on the cap, pushed the stretcher to the operation theater. It was cold in there! I saw no one though there were many people in the OT. I could only remember Dr Wan Aasim, the anesthetist. The nurses moved me to the operation table, where I could see the lights which were similar to what I have seen on Medic TV and hospital series.The last thing I could recall in the OT was when Dr Wan said..“ Assalamualaikum Nurul, sakit ke? Tahan sikit ye. Saya nk cucuk ubat bius. This will be bit sting. Nurul baca Al-Fatihah, sampai je Amin, Nurul dah tak akan rasa apa-apa..”I recited Surah Al-Fatihah and by the time I came to the last verse and Amin… there’s nothing that I could remember.

I woke up, I looked at the clock, it was 9 a.m. The first thing that came to my mind was the baby. I could not articulate even a word, there was the Darth Vader thing supplying O2 on my face. I saw Abe on my left. Smiling.. I put away the thing and I asked him whether the baby was ok.. I saw him nodded and.. I slept again… 2p.m. I regained my consciousness (not fully). I did not see my baby yet! huhuhu really wanted to look at it. I have been guessing how it looks like for 38 weeks.. I asked for the baby, the nurse brought it next to me… in its small buggy. It was so fair, so beautiful, so charming, so stunning, so fine looking and so adorable! Only my tears can explain my feeling and emotion at that time. Ahmad Haziq Baihaqi, the seed of our love…..

Abe azankan Ahmad Haziq Baihaqi.. i was still unconscious..

before his presence

It was months back I should have been starting throwing out words but…. as a typical explanation; time renounced me from articulating the occurrences into lexis. My lengthy moment of deducing and marveling, how the boy inside my womb looks like, ended four months ago. Ahmad Haziq Baihaqi; the dearest gift from Allah. He is hoped to have all wit and aptitude as how we named him. Two episodes of miscarriage before, Haziq’s presence brings our fears to a halt , replaced by the utmost glory.

Three weeks of delayed menses, I supposed something was about to happen. Without telling Abe, I bought two sets of pregnancy test kit (why two?) from nearby Guardian (not that near …still have to drive to Giant Batu Caves) and was very excited to do the test. The test should be done the first thing when you get up in the morning. Unfortunately my zeal could not wait any longer. (It was afternoon, 3p.m.). Paying no heed to the clock, I did the test and few minutes later the second stroke became visible. I had no idea how did my emotion responses to the affirmation stroke. I kept the affecting reaction to myself. I had another set of pregnancy test. I believed that I should keep the appearing blue line for me alone first.. Yeah laaaaaa.. it was 3p.m.. The results might go incorrect. Perhaps the HcG read something else. Hikhik… The next morning, as being instructed at the back of the pregnancy test box, I went straight to the toilet and repeated the test. Then I counted 1.. 2.. before I finished counting until 3, the blue line come into sight very obviously.

Seeing that blue line on a pregnancy test is a life-changing moment. But once the news has sunk in, what’s going to happen to me next? I have seen the blue line twice before. Yet nothing altered my married days. It was only me and Abe. Now that I know I was pregnant (again) there was only one thing in my mind. Thinking about my new growing baby would take up every waking moment, and it was very hard to concentrate on anything else. I had an insatiable desire to read everything on pregnancy and fetal development, especially about the baby’s “week”.

Shadowed by two miscarriage in a year, I did not loss the bliss and innocence of carrying a baby. I was happy and grateful. But yes, sometimes I can’t help re-live the traumatic experience. At times I tend to think that I am someone to whom bad things could befall. Sense of confidence and peace was every so often vague. However, with the help and support from Abe, our family, Ahmad Haziq Baihaqi arrived at this world without a scratch and he was beginning to walk the life passage with us.

It was months back I should have been starting throwing out words but…. as a typical explanation; time renounced me from articulating the occurrences into lexis. My lengthy moment of deducing and marveling, how the boy inside my womb looks like, ended four months ago. Ahmad Haziq Baihaqi; the dearest gift from Allah. He is hoped to have all wit and aptitude as how we named him. Two episodes of miscarriage before, Haziq’s presence brings our fears to a halt , replaced by the utmost glory.

Three weeks of delayed menses, I supposed something was about to happen. Without telling Abe, I bought two sets of pregnancy test kit (why two?) from nearby Guardian (not that near …still have to drive to Giant Batu Caves) and was very excited to do the test. The test should be done the first thing when you get up in the morning. Unfortunately my zeal could not wait any longer. (It was afternoon, 3p.m.). Paying no heed to the clock, I did the test and few minutes later the second stroke became visible. I had no idea how did my emotion responses to the affirmation stroke. I kept the affecting reaction to myself. I had another set of pregnancy test. I believed that I should keep the appearing blue line for me alone first.. Yeah laaaaaa.. it was 3p.m.. The results might go incorrect. Perhaps the HcG read something else. Hikhik… The next morning, as being instructed at the back of the pregnancy test box, I went straight to the toilet and repeated the test. Then I counted 1.. 2.. before I finished counting until 3, the blue line come into sight very obviously.

Seeing that blue line on a pregnancy test is a life-changing moment. But once the news has sunk in, what’s going to happen to me next? I have seen the blue line twice before. Yet nothing altered my married days. It was only me and Abe. Now that I know I was pregnant (again) there was only one thing in my mind. Thinking about my new growing baby would take up every waking moment, and it was very hard to concentrate on anything else. I had an insatiable desire to read everything on pregnancy and fetal development, especially about the baby’s “week”.